Your tear-tastic guide to sobbing in Manchester.
There’s no denying life in the city can be rough, with high rent and constant rain making us mostly miserable (even for friendly Mancs!). Sometimes all we need is a big old cry. As a regular city centre sobber, these are the best spots to let it all out next time Gregg’s run out of vegan sausage rolls. Happy sobbing!
1. On a bench in Piccadilly Gardens
One of the easiest places in the city to do anything slightly peculiar, a bench in Piccadilly Gardens is a great spot for having a good old cry. The general public will be too distracted to notice you with the sheer amount of passers-by – not forgetting the Piccadilly Rats and the preachers who frequently take centre stage in the area.
2. Heaton Park
A slightly more scenic place to get in touch with your emotions, there are plenty of spots to have a mighty sob in at Heaton Park. Whether its ducks that help the tears flow or just the general sight of greenery, you’re sure to find a nice, quiet spot here. You probably won’t look out of place when Parklife’s on either – bonus!
3. On the tram
Pick the right tram at peak time (usually towards Ashton Under Lyne from Media City), you’re sure to be able to disguise a decent cry. The commuter time trams are so busy, you’ll likely get the opportunity to bawl your eyes out directly into someone’s backpack that’s conveniently squished against your face – maybe even drying your tears for you, too. There’s always the excuse that they accidentally whacked you in the face if they notice.
4. Victoria Station
The best station for cancelled train services, Victoria Station is a brilliant spot for when you’re feeling a little teary-eyed. Not only are the platforms super long so you can space yourself away from others, but there are so many train cancellations you have the perfect excuse of ‘I can’t get home’ to utilise. Cry away, my commuter friends, cry away.
5. Deansgate on a Saturday night
Head out sometime after midnight and you’re sure to see a ton of crying girls dotted around Deansgate – especially around the Albert Schloss side where most people have had one too many already. For inspiration, it’s a common sight to see girls crying on the kerb with their heels in hand and mascara down their face – the perfect undercover cry attire. Must have been the gin, right?
6. Cotton Field Wharf Marina
An exceptional choice for sobbing all year round, Ancoats Marina is a pretty little spot with benches and the view of the water to help you channel your emotions. The best part? When you inevitably decide to treat yourself, Pollen Bakery is on hand to provide the baked goods and Cask to provide the pints!
7. The food court at the Trafford Centre
With plenty of tables and fast-food choices closeby, the food court at the Trafford Centre is great for drowning your french fries in tears and sorrow before heading into the shopping mall for a bit of retail therapy. In the summer, sobbers can even head outside and cry in the sun, with seating available outside of Five Guys. Perfect.
8. On The M62
With all the road works going on for what appears to be an eternity, the M62 is a great place to head if you have a car, particularly since you’re guaranteed to be there for a while in traffic. You can even play your finest tear-jerking playlist (my personal choice is Purple Rain by Prince on repeat) and belt out some seriously depressing lyrics to accompany your sob-fest. Then, when you’re feeling a bit better, circle round to the Krispy Kreme drive-thru at Trafford before heading home to forget it ever happened.
9. Media City
The home of the BBC and ITV up North, Media City has some great areas for crying in. The green area outside the Beebs is a lovely spot in the summer – especially if you go at Corrie time. The soap is screened daily on the big screen and any crying can be considered as over-enthusiasm for the classic Manchester soap. If you’re feeling extra dramatic, you could also get away with pretending to be a Corrie extra nearby the set. Anyone fancy running lines with me?